The Naughty Episode Titles of Guardian 镇魂

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Guardian 镇魂 is about to end this week in China, and I thought, even though YT is slowly subbing it, they aren't translating the titles for each episode, which is a pity because these titles are ridiculously fun! 

Whoever is responsible for the creation of them, it clearly shows the production takes themselves seriously enough to make jokes about their work, the plot and the obvious BL nature of the original novel. Read my translation and see for your self!

EP1 白宇朱一龙逆世而歌共济一念善恶

Bai, Yu/Zhu, Yilong singing a song of good and evil against all odds together

 

EP2 赵云澜花式探底沈巍

Zhao Yunlan fancily investigates (literal trans:test the bottomline) of Shen Wei 

 

EP3 沈巍遭赵云澜怀疑委屈巴巴

Shen Wei feels quite wronged by Zhao Yunlan’s suspicion 

 

EP4 沈巍遭特调处轮番拷问

Shen Wei is interrogated by Special Investigation Division 

 

EP5 赵云澜查案受阻沈巍暗中帮护

Zhao Yunlan’s investigation meets obstacle Shen Wei assists in secret

 

EP6 赵云澜夜袭沈巍住宅

Zhao Yunlan sneaks in Shen Wei’s residence at night

 

EP7 赵云澜英雄救美护沈巍安全

Zhao Yunlan pulls a saving damsel in distress on Shen Wei

 

EP8 赵云澜买古书套路沈巍失败

Zhao Yunlan fails at impressing Shen Wei with antique books

 

EP9 沈巍喜提赵云澜暖心冲锋衣

Shen Wei happily receives Zhao Yunlan’s heart warming parka

 

EP10 赵云澜遇险黑袍使闪现解救

Zhao Yunlan runs into danger Black Cloak Envoy Comes to rescue in a flash

 

EP11 沈巍马甲掉了

Shen Wei’s vest comes off 

*internet term meaning losing one's disguise

 

EP12 赵云澜超近距离观察沈巍

Zhao Yunnan observes Shen Wei in super close range

 

EP13 赵云澜被控制沈巍启动超级变幻形态

Zhao Yunlan is under (mental) control Shen Wei initiates super transformation

 

EP14 赵云澜人逢喜事精神爽

Zhao Yunlan is on high energy due to happy events

 

EP15 赵云澜向沈巍邀功求报答

Zhao Yunlan begs Shen Wei’s favour as a repayment

 

EP16 赵云澜使出断子绝孙脚

Zhao Yunlan uses “ending your descendants” kick

Refering to him kicking at someone’s crotch in this episode

 

EP17 赵云澜被拍倒沈巍怒发泰拳警告

Zhao Yunlan is slapped down Shen Wei uses violence as a warning

怒发泰拳is a reference to video game, meaning using violence to warn someone, 泰拳 is Thailand boxing, and the actor Zhu Yilong actually learned it previously, so clearly the production knows the in and out of the novel and the actors.

 

EP18 赵云澜连环回嘴沈巍

Zhao Yunlan talks back to Shen Wei in a row

 

EP19 赵云澜鼻血横流沈巍哐哐砸铁柱

Zhao Yunlan gets a nose bleed Shen Wei “kuang Kuang” (sound) slams on the iron pole

 

EP20 夜尊闪亮登场

Ye Zun glamorously comes on stage

 

EP21 赵云澜竟唤出了一句:小巍

Zhao Yunlan unexpectedly called our “Xiao (little) Wei”

* Xiao 小 is an endearing term added to people's name

 

EP22 赵云澜看不见了看见了看不见了看见了

Zhao Yunlan couldn’t see, couldn’t see, couldn’t see

 

EP23 血还是红的干净的放着

Blood is still red, lying here, cleanly

This title is referred to the original novel where Shen Wei took out the blood from his heart for Zhao Yunlan

 

EP24 沈巍赵云澜离原地爆炸还差一点点

Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan are this bit away from exploding on spot

 

EP25 黑袍哥哥慢走

Bye! Black Cloak Envoy Oppa 

* 慢走 literally means walk slowly, a common term meaning good bye

 

EP26 天气热了 沈巍为赵云澜披衣保暖

The weather’s getting hot, Shen Wei puts a layer of clothes on Zhao Yunlan to keep him warm

 

EP27 赵云澜目击沈巍密会现场心态崩了

Zhao Yunlan witnesses Shen Wei’s secret rendezvous and his mental state collapses

 

EP28 赵云澜掉下桌子沈巍接住了

Zhao Yunlan falls down the desk and Shen Wei catches 

* This is also a "twisted" reference to the book. In the book, both Zhao Yunlan and his previous incarnation Kun Lun said something similar to Shen Wei. It roughly means I don't own much apart from my true heart, if you want it, you can take it. Shen Wei said “I've caught it." in response. Obviously the lines and situation are too openly BL, they can't really film this, so the title.... just love the production crew!

 

EP29 那天风好大 沈巍赵云澜天台喊话

On that really windy day Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan shout out on the roof

 

EP30 与夜尊battle 沈巍被绑柱子下不来

Battle with Ye Zun, Shen Wei is tied to the pole and could get down

 

EP31 沈巍被绑柱子还没下来

Shen Wei is still tied to the pole and couldn’t get down

 

EP32 沈巍被绑柱子依然没下来

Shen Wei continues to be tied to the pole and couldn’t get down

 

EP33 糟糕!沈巍是腰肌劳损的感觉了

Shit! Shen Wei feels like his lumbar muscle is strained

*Referring the him holding his waist after coming off the pole. FYI, strained waist muscle or sore waist is often an euphemism in Chinese for having had too much sex…lol, the crew...what can I say?

 

EP34 初见昆仑君 惊鸿一瞥乱我心曲

Seeing Kun Lun  for the first time,  a glimpse of that face disrupted the tune of my heart

This is taken directly from the novel, where in Shen Wei’s secret room at his apartment, he has a wall-size painting of Kun Lun - Zhao Yunlan’s original god form. On the edge of the painting this is the note Shen Wei wrote.

 

EP35 说好一生一起走 你却有了好朋友

You promised we’d be together for the rest of our life yet you found another good friend

 

EP36 赵云澜全球直播 点击关注不迷路

Zhao Yunlan live streams globally, subscribe so you won’t be lost

 

EP37 赵云澜脑内一声回响 镇魂等闪亮登场

Zhao Yunlan hears an echo in his mind, Zhen Hun Lamp comes on stage

 

EP38 沈巍吐血赵云澜被绑柱子下不来

Shen Wei spits blood Zhao Yunlan is tied to the pole and couldn’t get down

 

EP39 沈巍冰锥入心赵云澜哭出一片海洋

Shenw Wei takes an ice awl to the heart Zhao Yunlan cries an ocean

 

EP40 愿巍澜眉眼如初岁月如故 

Wish Wei and Lan keep their appearances and meet in time as they have done

眉眼如初 literally means “brows and eyes as original” , 岁月如故 "years and months as the past". So I guess the title lady wasn’t very happy about the ending~

 

So .... yes, that's how "talented" the creators of the drama are, on China's streaming site YOUKU, people's live comments at the beginning of each episode are filled with praises for these titles. These titles are so funny when you read it with each episode's plot and character development.