Guardian 镇魂 is about to end this week in China, and I thought, even though YT is slowly subbing it, they aren't translating the titles for each episode, which is a pity because these titles are ridiculously fun!
Whoever is responsible for the creation of them, it clearly shows the production takes themselves seriously enough to make jokes about their work, the plot and the obvious BL nature of the original novel. Read my translation and see for your self!
EP1 白宇朱一龙逆世而歌共济一念善恶
Bai, Yu/Zhu, Yilong singing a song of good and evil against all odds together
EP2 赵云澜花式探底沈巍
Zhao Yunlan fancily investigates (literal trans:test the bottomline) of Shen Wei
EP3 沈巍遭赵云澜怀疑委屈巴巴
Shen Wei feels quite wronged by Zhao Yunlan’s suspicion
EP4 沈巍遭特调处轮番拷问
Shen Wei is interrogated by Special Investigation Division
EP5 赵云澜查案受阻沈巍暗中帮护
Zhao Yunlan’s investigation meets obstacle Shen Wei assists in secret
EP6 赵云澜夜袭沈巍住宅
Zhao Yunlan sneaks in Shen Wei’s residence at night
EP7 赵云澜英雄救美护沈巍安全
Zhao Yunlan pulls a saving damsel in distress on Shen Wei
EP8 赵云澜买古书套路沈巍失败
Zhao Yunlan fails at impressing Shen Wei with antique books
EP9 沈巍喜提赵云澜暖心冲锋衣
Shen Wei happily receives Zhao Yunlan’s heart warming parka
EP10 赵云澜遇险黑袍使闪现解救
Zhao Yunlan runs into danger Black Cloak Envoy Comes to rescue in a flash
EP11 沈巍马甲掉了
Shen Wei’s vest comes off
*internet term meaning losing one's disguise
EP12 赵云澜超近距离观察沈巍
Zhao Yunnan observes Shen Wei in super close range
EP13 赵云澜被控制沈巍启动超级变幻形态
Zhao Yunlan is under (mental) control Shen Wei initiates super transformation
EP14 赵云澜人逢喜事精神爽
Zhao Yunlan is on high energy due to happy events
EP15 赵云澜向沈巍邀功求报答
Zhao Yunlan begs Shen Wei’s favour as a repayment
EP16 赵云澜使出断子绝孙脚
Zhao Yunlan uses “ending your descendants” kick
Refering to him kicking at someone’s crotch in this episode
EP17 赵云澜被拍倒沈巍怒发泰拳警告
Zhao Yunlan is slapped down Shen Wei uses violence as a warning
怒发泰拳is a reference to video game, meaning using violence to warn someone, 泰拳 is Thailand boxing, and the actor Zhu Yilong actually learned it previously, so clearly the production knows the in and out of the novel and the actors.
EP18 赵云澜连环回嘴沈巍
Zhao Yunlan talks back to Shen Wei in a row
EP19 赵云澜鼻血横流沈巍哐哐砸铁柱
Zhao Yunlan gets a nose bleed Shen Wei “kuang Kuang” (sound) slams on the iron pole
EP20 夜尊闪亮登场
Ye Zun glamorously comes on stage
EP21 赵云澜竟唤出了一句：小巍
Zhao Yunlan unexpectedly called our “Xiao (little) Wei”
* Xiao 小 is an endearing term added to people's name
EP22 赵云澜看不见了看见了看不见了看见了
Zhao Yunlan couldn’t see, could see, couldn’t see, could see
EP23 血还是红的干净的放着
Blood is still red, lying here, cleanly
This title is referred to the original novel where Shen Wei took out the blood from his heart for Zhao Yunlan
EP24 沈巍赵云澜离原地爆炸还差一点点
Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan are this bit away from exploding on spot
EP25 黑袍哥哥慢走
Bye! Black Cloak Envoy Oppa
* 慢走 literally means walk slowly, a common term meaning good bye
EP26 天气热了 沈巍为赵云澜披衣保暖
The weather’s getting hot, Shen Wei puts a layer of clothes on Zhao Yunlan to keep him warm
EP27 赵云澜目击沈巍密会现场心态崩了
Zhao Yunlan witnesses Shen Wei’s secret rendezvous and his mental state collapses
EP28 赵云澜掉下桌子沈巍接住了
Zhao Yunlan falls down the desk and Shen Wei catches
* This is also a "twisted" reference to the book. In the book, both Zhao Yunlan and his previous incarnation Kun Lun said something similar to Shen Wei. It roughly means I don't own much apart from my true heart, if you want it, you can take it. Shen Wei said “I've caught it." in response. Obviously the lines and situation are too openly BL, they can't really film this, so the title.... just love the production crew!
EP29 那天风好大 沈巍赵云澜天台喊话
On that really windy day Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan shout out on the roof
EP30 与夜尊battle 沈巍被绑柱子下不来
Battle with Ye Zun, Shen Wei is tied to the pole and could get down
EP31 沈巍被绑柱子还没下来
Shen Wei is still tied to the pole and couldn’t get down
EP32 沈巍被绑柱子依然没下来
Shen Wei continues to be tied to the pole and couldn’t get down
EP33 糟糕！沈巍是腰肌劳损的感觉了
Shit! Shen Wei feels like his lumbar muscle is strained
*Referring the him holding his waist after coming off the pole. FYI, strained waist muscle or sore waist is often an euphemism in Chinese for having had too much sex…lol, the crew...what can I say?
EP34 初见昆仑君 惊鸿一瞥乱我心曲
Seeing Kun Lun for the first time, a glimpse of that face disrupted the tune of my heart
This is taken directly from the novel, where in Shen Wei’s secret room at his apartment, he has a wall-size painting of Kun Lun - Zhao Yunlan’s original god form. On the edge of the painting this is the note Shen Wei wrote.
EP35 说好一生一起走 你却有了好朋友
You promised we’d be together for the rest of our life yet you found another good friend
EP36 赵云澜全球直播 点击关注不迷路
Zhao Yunlan live streams globally, subscribe so you won’t be lost
EP37 赵云澜脑内一声回响 镇魂等闪亮登场
Zhao Yunlan hears an echo in his mind, Zhen Hun Lamp comes on stage
EP38 沈巍吐血赵云澜被绑柱子下不来
Shen Wei spits blood Zhao Yunlan is tied to the pole and couldn’t get down
EP39 沈巍冰锥入心赵云澜哭出一片海洋
Shenw Wei takes an ice awl to the heart Zhao Yunlan cries an ocean
EP40 愿巍澜眉眼如初岁月如故
Wish Wei and Lan keep their appearances and meet in time as they have done
眉眼如初 literally means “brows and eyes as original” , 岁月如故 "years and months as the past". So I guess the title lady wasn’t very happy about the ending～
So .... yes, that's how "talented" the creators of the drama are, on China's streaming site YOUKU, people's live comments at the beginning of each episode are filled with praises for these titles. These titles are so funny when you read it with each episode's plot and character development.